right

the far right, originally uploaded by abovegroundpool.

From the anti gay marriage archives. More here.

drilling for gays

I went to one of the protests last week about the CA gay marriage ban. I wasn't happy there. Again and again I don't have all the words to explain why. I can bristle at the "God Loves Gay Marriage" banner, I can point out to everyone that 95% of attendees are white men, I can joke about how everyone there seems to be on their cell phone, and still I'm never eloquent about saying why the demo didn't work for me, why this will never be my issue.

Like in other cities, NY had a huge crowd. I hadn't seen a crowd so big so white so male at a demonstration for ten years, since Matthew Shepard was murdered, to be exact. This was the first thing in ten years that made Chelsea come out to a demo.

Gay marriage has never been my thing. As Ms. Mel of readspeakresist says, "I feel like fighting for marriage is the gay equivalent of Drill Baby Drill. It's antiquated. It's a short-term solution and it's only useful to some of us." It causes other damage, that isn't spoken about. It's surface, no structural changes required, a continuation of the "we're just like you" charade. Like mattilda says "no on eight isn't really no on hate."

Two days after this massive demo, about which I'd received a zillion emails, Teish Cannon, a trans person of color, was murdered in Syracuse with barely a whisper. I found out about her murder tonight, and only by accident. No demonstration, no email campaign, no mention anywhere but the local paper.

Gay marriage wouldn't have helped a deviant queer like Teish Cannon. And I'd rather work for her.

gay marriage

While "the gays" have been celebrating in California, I've been mum on gay marriage. That's because I'm not into it. I like ritual sometimes, I like queers being committed to one another (monogamous or no), and I get warm fuzzies when I hear about those couples who've been together for 60 or so years.

But in my mind marriage is a stopgap. It might get a couple of queers health insurance. But shouldn't we all have healthcare, whether we're in relationships or not? It may help a queer or two not lose their child or their home when their lover dies. But that really hasn't been tested yet, has it?

Gay marriage doesn't solve our problems. And when everyone's atwitter & aglow over their new right to marry, I feel like a jerk pointing out those problems. My co-worker reinforced that feeling this week when he quoted a gay man as hanging his head and saying "I miss having something to be angry about."

Sorry ya'll. I like a party as much as the next one, but that's no reason to invite the government to regulate my relationships, no reason to invoke old institutions that secure property. My dear old friend mattilda bernstein sycamore always comes to the rescue when I am without words, and I stumbled on this Alternet post from mattilda today. It's not just about wanting to be different.

I'm not going to spend my time fighting against gay marriage. I still haven't recovered from a late eighties gay rodeo protest where our signage (as queers against animal abuse in rodeos) wasn't clear enough, and the local paper clumped us with the protesting Christians. Still, I would like to be able to give a clear answer when people ask me about it, or assume I'm on the bandwagon fighting for my right to marry.

P.S. As unattractive as it may be to some, I'm still angry. Remember Sakia Gunn?
P.P.S. Image courtesy of Gay Shame SF.